Warning: this may be
a little too honest, so forgive me if I share too much. J
Ok I know I should have expected some emotions but honestly
I didn’t know I would be this emotional!
At the beginning, I naively thought I could get through this without getting
caught up in it all. I mean I am helping
a life right!?! It should be
joyous. But honestly I am so sad right
now. I grieve for him because he is
unable to have his bio family. I feel a
little of the pain he is going to feel his whole life.
Also, when I was pregnant with my daughters I felt movement
and kicks and knew everything was going to be ok. I don’t have that with this adoption. I have a son whom I already love and have
given my heart to, in another country living another life right now. It can feel so empty and lonely. When you have a biological child you know
they are going to love you, because they are your child, and they were made to
love you from the moment they are born.
You are their world. Not so with
adoption. There is always that fear of
rejection. They were made to love a set
of parents who gave them up.
And on top of that, for the adoption you are educated on the
many ways your child is going to have emotional baggage (how could they not) and
how hard it is going to be. But I know I
have a powerful God who works All to the good of His glory. And the verse “I know the plans I have for
you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to
give you hope and a future.” Jer 29:11 This
is the verse I have picked out for him because it has so much promise and love in
it.
God has a plan for his life and I praise Him that I can be a
part of it. But it is hard and emotional and I just did not expect it. I appreciate all who are praying for him and us through this whole process.
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