"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Wow the emotions!


Warning:  this may be a little too honest, so forgive me if I share too much.  J



Ok I know I should have expected some emotions but honestly I didn’t know I would be this emotional!  At the beginning, I naively thought I could get through this without getting caught up in it all.  I mean I am helping a life right!?!  It should be joyous.  But honestly I am so sad right now.  I grieve for him because he is unable to have his bio family.  I feel a little of the pain he is going to feel his whole life. 



Also, when I was pregnant with my daughters I felt movement and kicks and knew everything was going to be ok.  I don’t have that with this adoption.  I have a son whom I already love and have given my heart to, in another country living another life right now.  It can feel so empty and lonely.   When you have a biological child you know they are going to love you, because they are your child, and they were made to love you from the moment they are born.  You are their world.  Not so with adoption.  There is always that fear of rejection.  They were made to love a set of parents who gave them up. 



And on top of that, for the adoption you are educated on the many ways your child is going to have emotional baggage (how could they not) and how hard it is going to be.  But I know I have a powerful God who works All to the good of His glory.  And the verse “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jer 29:11 This is the verse I have picked out for him because it has so much promise and love in it. 



God has a plan for his life and I praise Him that I can be a part of it.  But it is hard and emotional and I just did not expect it.  I appreciate all who are praying for him and us through this whole process.

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