Forever and a Day

First, I need to thank my friend Rebecca who is posting on my blog. It is driving me crazy but I can't access my blog or facebook! I feel like I am living alone right now:( Oh well. Can't get the vpn to work.

Now on to the update: We arrived in Nanchang on Sunday and found out from our guide that we would not be meeting Cole on Monday as thought but instead at 3:30 that day. Hence the title. We now not only get to spend forever with him but a day extra! It was a little unnerving and exciting all at once. I was not prepared and did not have a chance to write down my questions for the director. I felt so lost also in what to do. I know a lot of times people see their little one for the first time and everything goes perfect and there is an instant match and no questions asked. Not so for us. When they showed up with him they came to our hotel room. We were able, with the agencies help, get a great deal on upgrading to the executive suite. So we knew there would be plenty of room for us all.

So a little after 3pm they show up and we meet Cole for the first time! He looked at us like he did not know or trust us. We found out that he was actually in a foster home with a foster Mom and Dad. He called them MaMa and BaBa (the chinese for Mom and Dad). I found out later that on the way up to the hotel room the director and helper were telling him that his Mama and Baba where waiting to see him. So understand his confusion when we open the door and we are not who he expects. (Because of this we have asked our guide to refrain from calling us Mama and Baba and let his foster parents be those words to him but instead call us Mommy and Daddy). After they all left, Cole started crying and frankly I wanted to also. He did calm down but Dan and I felt horrible for him and was questioning if we were doing the right thing. I know we are but sometimes that is so hard to see. I felt so inadequate. I did not even know how to feed him. The information they gave us was vague. For example, he does not eat formula and eats something his Mom gets in a glass bottle but we can't get it. Also, he drinks out of a bottle but they did not bring one for him. 

We had to cry out to God because we felt alone, confused and not strong enough. But we know His strength is strong enough. We thank God we brought the girls because Cali immediately started to play with him and talk to him. He threw a few tantrums. He did not want me to hold him or take off his shoes. I think he knew that if his shoes came off he was stuck here and he did not want that. I finally had to take off his shoes and force him to let me hold him. He cried and screamed (he is strong willed). He finally calmed down and began to accept us. But it is a slow process. 

He has started to bond more with me than Dan and more with Cali than any of us:) He really likes her and likes to play with her. Donna is a little more reserved but she is starting to warm up to him as well. 

Dan and I are really confused on whether to visit the orphanage and foster parents or not. We can tell that he was definitely bonded with them and don't want to create any more wounds for his poor soul but we don't want to miss an opportunity to see where he has spent a year of his life. If you have any insight then please email me at rbberry@hotmail.com. Also, I really could use friendly words of encouragement so please email me:) As I said before, I can't get on facebook or the blog so I feel like I am in the dark right now. I would also really like to hear from those springtime ladies who are going to be in Gaungzhou at the same time. I would really love to see a friendly face when we get there!

Prayers are much appreciated! Also, he is sick right now with what sounds like a respiratory infection and could be something that is causing problems. He has a fever. So please pray for healing for him and that we don't get it!

Love Rebecca

This is us meeting him for first time

This is after him being really upset from them leaving and finally letting me hold him and touch him

I finally figured out how to feed him and he fell asleep while holding him

Finally letting Dan touch him!

Today he was not wanting to go to the guide like he did on Sunday and stayed with me the whole time

 He is starting to become a part of our family. I just feel sad for him and what he has lost.